Why You’re Struggling With Your Feminine Expression {And How to Connect With Your Authentic Feminine Essence}
The struggles the feminine encounters with her feminine energy are connected to what type of feminine expression she is connected to.
When the feminine is struggling to connect to her healthy inner feminine, she is experiencing Distorted Feminine Energy.
When the feminine is struggling to connect to her healthy inner masculine, she is experiencing Wounded Feminine Energy.
As the feminine becomes aware of her wounds, traumas, and insecurities - and wants to change them - she is moving into her Awakened Feminine Energy.
The fullest embodiment of healthy feminine expression is the Divine Feminine. This is the woman who has addressed her healing, done the work, and now embodies her healthy inner masculine energy and has cultivated a healthy feminine core - utilizing both her Light/Soft Feminine Energy, and her dark Feminine Energy.
One of the deepest gifts of feminine expression is transformation and the ability of the feminine to transform her life. Transformation revolves around becoming aware of who we are, how we act and behave currently, and who we want to become in the future. Transformation is not an easy path for the feminine to follow, but it does create deeper fulfillment in her life when she recognizes her wounds, patterns, and traumas, and decides she wants something different for herself.
This path towards inner transformation creates the outward transformation she has often been conditioned to focus on. When she only focuses on outward transformation, she is not in connection with her authentic, true self - her suffering, her loneliness, her pain, her insecurities, as well as her joy, her playfulness, her tenderness, and her self-love.
In order for the feminine to move forward on her Heroine’s Journey of healing, self-discovery, and transformation, she must be aware of the four types of feminine energy - and know where she is energetically in the present moment. Being aware of all four levels, she then can see her path forward towards transformation and cultivating her most radiant feminine energy.
The four types of feminine energy are not linear - but they do consist of different levels.
The first level is the Wounded Feminine and the Distorted Feminine. A feminine woman can vacillate between both of these feminine energies at the same time, or she can have a more dominant type.
The wounded feminine feels the need to be saved, validated, or chosen by the masculine. She can act like a damsel in distress in relationships, sometimes just emotionally, and she acts very anxious. She attracts distorted masculine men that is domineering, controlling, emotionally unavailable, emotionally neglectful, or distant. She tries to change herself and conforms to what others want, to please others to earn love, attention, and affection. This type of feminine energy is disconnected from her healthy core feminine energy, and she has not yet developed her healthy inner masculine energy.
The distorted feminine feels like she needs to control everything in her life, including the masculine in her life, because she does not feel like she can create safety in her life unless she is in control. She becomes the woman who is deeply stressed and exhausted by all she takes on. She attracts wounded masculine men that lack purpose and needs mothering or allows the feminine to mother him because he needs her to be in control. She is often emotionally distant, overly independent, and overworks herself to gain the safety and security she has always craved but doesn’t trust anyone else to give her. She tries to prove herself worthy of being an equal amongst men.
The wounded and the distorted feminine struggle with low self-love. This means that they both lack self-validation and are very attached to external sources of love - namely from men - because they have not learned how to validate, appreciate, and love themselves for who they are. Both the wounded and the distorted feminine struggle with believing and accepting their value and worth. They are insecure and develop very codependent and transactional relationships that are not fulfilling to them, because they are looking for a man to fill the voids, wounds, and loneliness inside them that they have not taken responsibility for healing yet. Because of their inner void, both the wounded and the distorted feminine struggle with feelings of emptiness, not-enough-ness, and low self-worth.
The second level is the Awakened Feminine. The awakened feminine had become aware of her wounds, traumas, and insecurities. She is actively looking to heal, grow, and transform her life because she is tired of living in her wounded and/or distorted feminine energy. She is tired of never feeling good enough, even for herself. She is learning to validate her own worth, accept herself, and transform her old patterns and ways of thinking so that she can change the trajectory of her life. She is looking for an awakened masculine man who is also doing his inner work and becoming a man who can show up in relationships in a healthy way.
The third level is the Divine Feminine. The divine feminine has come to a place in her life where she deeply accepts and loves herself. She is not bending over backwards to please others, she sets boundaries and sticks to them, and she is comfortable saying no without feeling guilt afterwards. She cultivates meaningful work and a career; she has deep, meaningful friendships with positive and uplifting women; she is constantly leaning how to make herself happy. The divine feminine has begun to reexamine her relationships with men and her beliefs about herself in relationships. When she encounters a man worthy of her time and attention, she allows the masculine to add to her happiness, but he is not the source of it - she is. She consciously aligns with a masculine partner who has developed and is connected to his own inner feminine energy while staying true to his masculine core. She respects the differences between the masculine and feminine - and see’s the value of both energies.
Hi, I’m Allison.
Writer, teacher, guide, podcast host, and founder of Create Love Freedom, an online space for women to reclaim their feminine, heal, transform, and come home to their feminine energy, feminine power, and feminine radiance. If you are a woman wanting to heal your past wounds and trauma, deepen into your feminine being, slow down, authentically know yourself, let go of societal conditioning, create the relationships and connections you desire, and to become the woman you want to be, you are in the right place. Start here.